she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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