why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
