5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
