don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
