Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
