3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
