She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
