Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
dude. I can hear the air.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize