Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
