How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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