So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
