I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
bring money and cleavage
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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