...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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