I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
