I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
