Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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