No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
