420 ftw
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
