i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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