I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
