if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
