I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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