***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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