I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
