So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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