A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize