Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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