just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
