Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
