i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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