the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
