woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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