I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
