You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
