Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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