Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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