What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its about making memories worth repressing
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
