Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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