We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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