why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize