There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize