So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize