you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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