yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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