I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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