found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
