is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
