too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize