Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
