I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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