I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
