WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
