I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
