remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
