I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
