I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize