Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
