Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
