Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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