New low: just hacked my moms facebook
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
True college students do jello shots in the library
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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