elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
